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About to POP!

Hope everyone had a MERRY MERRY Christmas- mine was relaxing and wonderful, thank you for asking. =)

I got a sapphire ring from Chris that was a HUGE surprise and I bawled like a pregnant lady when I opened it. Plus, he was really surprised with his watch that I miraculously found for a steal at JCPenny's. Our budget was only $50 for each other and that included Santa's stockings! It was hard to do, but we both stuck to the budget and it was a sweet Christmas. The gifts seemed to mean more this year b/c we had to put alot of thought into them... not necessarily alot of money.

We also got a new Nikon camera from my inlaws (I think it was kind of a "baby" gift, as well). yay! I'm downloading the software for it right now so I'll get some pics of the weekend up.

Work has been pretty tough lately and I'm not sure- but I might be taking a step back from full time for a little bit. I've been going through alot and the pregnancy hormones have triggered some sort of depression. that and I have pregnancy rhinitis- which basically means I have a 6 month long cold and have to sleep with a humidifier like a sickly child... that and my nose is forever spewing mucous. A never ending supply of mucous. Lovely.

I went home last Monday from another panic attack and was bombarded with some sort of intervention by my boss and coworker about going through depression. I had to take all sorts of screening tests and they all showed severe/moderate depression. So I'm not sure where I go from here... just that I know I need to get some help. It's not healthy to me or my baby to ignore the obvious signs. So, since I can't afford to see a therapist... or even a monthly prescription- I think my boss is going to pay for everything. He's just that kind of guy. It also helps that he went through a severe depression about 8 years ago and is still taking medication to ward it off. So he understands exactly what's going on. How I feel at times that we will just never have enough money to pay off this debt and live without worrying about money all the time. That sometimes I can't help but feel guilty for getting pregnant when we can't afford the medical bills and the ER bills and saving for when I want to take time off. That I get severe anxiety when I go to work and have to talk to customers. What? That is nothing like me! I've never been one to not want to talk to people... I just am not right. And I will be taking a break from certain things... such as the internet- until I have it all figured out. Right now, there are just more important things.

So- I will try to keep up with everyone, but I have already failed at commenting and posting in the last month, so who knows how I'll do.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 29th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC)
you have to take care of you. if you need to talk, you know where your friends are *hugs* you will be fine, though, have faith in that *s*
Dec. 29th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks- I will try to keep you updated as much as possible. *hugs*
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )